August 17, 2018

Hey everybody, I've had this blog post written for almost two weeks now and I'm just now getting around to editing and posting it. Sooooo, let's get into it.


I had an appointment with my radiologist maybe two weeks ago. He says I’m looking good, I’m healing well, no detection of any lumps so ya girl is Gucci (as always). The only thing he said is that I need to brush my teeth after every meal (annoyinggg). Not that there is anything wrong with my mouth, I take good care of it, but he said that radiation makes your teeth weaker over time and they can rot. We don’t want my teeth to rot because I’m too young, and if I don’t have teeth I can’t use my obturator. Sooo I’m the weird person in the bathroom at work brushing my teeth in the morning and afternoon. I actually dislike doing that because people always want to talk to you and it’s like ummm I can’t talk to you right now, I took my mouth out.


I actually feel and see a difference in my teeth since I’ve been going ham on them. To me they look whiter. I use to have super white teeth before surgery but since I couldn’t brush my teeth for a week (I know gross) they are not as white as they used to be. I also feel like they are so sensitive. Like when I eat I can feel everything. I’m actually seeing a new dentist next week, she’s going to really give me the run down of what’s going on in my mouth. I’m nervous. I don’t want her to be insensitive and then spray up in my hole and then I drown and die right there in the chair. I guess I’ll keep you guys updated on that.


I want to tell you guys about my trip to Mexico real, real quick. So I went to Mexico for a bachelorette party. Beforehand I was anxious because I felt like I wasn’t ready for it. The days leading up I had so much to do, I had to laundry, pack, get my nails done, get a Brazilian, get my face waxed, make sure all of my work was up to date for my job, just so much. I also didn’t feel ready because I thought the trip was going to be turn up 24/7 and that was giving me anxiety just thinking about it.


The first day we got there we got acquainted with everyone, chilled by the pool, and talked. That night we played some games, had some drinks, talked and I was in bed by 12 because I'm a grandma and I love to sleep. The next morning we had breakfast and chilled all morning. I laid out by the pool and slept that entire morning. Then we did tequila tasting. That was interesting and anybody who knows me knows I suck at taking shots. After that we hung out some more and then we had dinner, then went to Xplor Fuego. Xplor is really dope. They have zip lining and ATVs and some other outdoor stuff you do but at night in the pitch black. Let me tell ya'll, doing zip lining in the pitch black darkness in the jungle in Mexico is scary AF okay. Anyways, the next day we went to the beach. We had to take a ferry to get to this beach. We laid out, got in the water, rented golf carts and drove around the town. My favorite part of that was being able to walk around in just my bathing suit. After that we went home and got dressed to go out. That was my top 5 best times going out EVER. We had TOO much fun. So now I’m writing this post because the trip is over, reflecting on it or whatever, and you know what I enjoyed the most about this trip? There was substance! I feel like sometimes we go on trips and we don’t do anything, or see anything, just do the bare minimum: eat, drink, sleep. This trip had so much! We were able to relax (which I definitely needed) and party and get new experiences and see new things and you know what, that’s how your life should be no matter where you are.


So this is what I think.


I think you should yearn for substance in all aspects of your life, not just the trips you go on, or turning up every weekend. But like in your job, are you learning new things there? Are you meeting people who can help you grow or become a mentor? Are you able to develop professionally and personally? Is it a non toxic work environment? Most importantly, are you happy there? There has to be something else keeping you at your job besides a check.


In our relationships, romantic and platonic:  Are there good conversations? Are you talking to each other? Are you learning from one another? Are you showing each other that you care? Is it more than just social media? Like, is it more than just posting pictures of you guys being together or just having conversations over social media. Are you doing new things, making new experiences, trying new foods? 


Personally:  do you have hobbies? Like what do you do in your free time besides scroll through social media and watch tv. If someone asked you about yourself what would you say? And no, don’t give them your resume ( I have a degree in this, I work here, I’m involved in this organization), really tell them about yourself. In my opinion, you can’t do that if you don’t have some substance to you.



Now, I’m not a life coach and I’m for damn sure not trained in this. I’m also not saying that this is what you should want to have a better life BUT I know I have become super way more happier because I’m consciously trying to have some substance in my life.


When I was doing radiation I was low key depressed. I would come home everyday and just watch Netflix until I fell asleep. One day I was like “yo, what are you doing sis?” That’s when I picked up crafting. I started making stuff for myself and for other people. It eased my anxiety and I’m kinda good at it. Now I can proudly say I’m a crafter lol. I also started writing more. Nothing I would ever post, mostly in journals. At that time I noticed with certain relationships, they became so generic, just blah. Only speaking through social media about the weather or some dumb shit. Or not really speaking to people at all. I understand that people have their own lives and are busy, but maintaining healthy relationships is important. Some people are loaners and like to be alone, but having solid relationships can help you stay sane, and be happy. I felt that once I let go of those "meaningless" relationships and focused more on the relationships that had value or the potential to give me something positive and substance, I became happier.


I know I’m repeating myself but I guess the point that I'm trying to make is that now that I’ve consciously been trying to add more substance to my life, I’m happier. I think you could be too if you try. Peace.



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